Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize