new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
