LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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