I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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