He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
