Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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