a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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