thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
