In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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