If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
