Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
