I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
