I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
