U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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