the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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