Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize