Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
