They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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