Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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