you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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