; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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