apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we're so committed to being not committed
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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