i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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