Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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