I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
