I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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