Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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