my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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