Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
