we're blogging at a bar
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
