wakey wakey hands off snakey
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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