Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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