dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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