Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
