I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
why is half of my head shaved?
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