Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
do herpes really smell.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
