I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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