You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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