You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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