This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dick very happy bro
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize