can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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