He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
