I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
