I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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