so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
