Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
