She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
