I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
