She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Two words: nipple clamps
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