Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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