my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
There's even glitter on my cock...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
