id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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