i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
