I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
