You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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