Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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