JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm at about main and main street
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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