I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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