Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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