thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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