I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
